One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
