I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
