i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
