Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
