Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
"it" just moved
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
