I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
