He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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