Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
