life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
