she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
