oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
