I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Congratulations! We have a period
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
