thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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