Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
