Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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