I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
