You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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