this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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