I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
