two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
