He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
