I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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