He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
