I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
