my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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