Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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