its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
