Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
