He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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