making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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