Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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