Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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