So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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