Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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