so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
