I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
