So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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