But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
