Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
