only you would photoshop your dick
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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