grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
