literally had 100 drinks last night.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
