her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
