i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
