1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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