sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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