Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
