There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
