I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
