i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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