I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
