So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
