God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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