I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
