dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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