ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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