how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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