I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
home. puking in laundry basket.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
