Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
