You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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