Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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