Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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