He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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