why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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