i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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