i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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