So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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