I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
