God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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