I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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