im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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