Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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