just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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